We have more motorized vehicles than people living in our house. Much to our neighbor’s delight not one of them is on cinderblocks. Also, due to our terrible gardening skills, the vehicles not in the garage are camaflouged by overgrown brush between our homes. We are unaware of any complaints. However with only 2 licensed drivers living in the house, it’s time to pare down the fleet. Here is their fate:
RV – We can’t wait to get to know you better! However, you will be sold as soon as the trip is over. Craigslist will have one more RV unless we get an offer… Seriously, this is not our future lifestyle the RV is only temporary.
Elantra – aka “The Black Car” – You get to come with us. First we are going to buy a dolly to tote you around behind RV. Then second we are going to spend an inordinate amount of time figuring out how to properly hook up your lights so we don’t get a ticket hauling you around. We hope to get much better gas mileage using you for the site seeing portions at all our destinations. update Aug-2: You don’t get to come, the dolly was too expensive. We traded the Kipps for their 95 Escort wagon which can be towed. Good deal for all.
Eurovan – Made so popular as the baddies’ vehicle in the TV show Alias. We are scared of you. A clutch is an essential part to making you go and yours is not doing very well. The repairman let us know you are terminal. Anyone looking for a cheap demolition derby vehicle?
Jeep – over 200,000 miles and almost as old as Brenna, we don’t know how you do it. Enjoy your time with Brenna at Purdue – who can resist a cute blond in a vintage Jeep?
Saturn – It’s a miracle you are still with us, 240,000 miles. It seems like just yesterday we raged a bidding war with Bobo69 on e-bay for you. $5,000 and you were ours. We have someone who has let us know that they want you to have a new home with them. [So if you said you wanted the car? This means YOU – call us] Update Aug-6, SOLD! And you won’t even have to leave the neighborhood. Enjoy, Nick.
Motorcycle – just keep holding up the wall, Brent won’t be making any Wal-Mart runs for milk or emergency lady products for a while.
Lawn Mower – Don’t break and stay warm for the winter. I’m sure someone will want a few dollars in the spring to take you around the yard every now and then.
Save for the RV we have every vehicle paid off – it is going to be a rude awakening when we return and have to procure new transportation.