109. You Will Now Believe In Aliens

1. BiCyclops

Alien Boy-band BiCyclops shocks the galaxy by touring in the nude!

 

Hypothesis: If aliens did not exist, then Roswell, New Mexico would not be the international UFO mecca that it has become.

If you are still on the fence about the existence of alien life, then this post will settle the matter. The people of Roswell New Mexico have dedicated decades collecting irrefutable evidence of alien life visiting our planet. Under the presumption that these New Mexicans are coherent, intelligent, and sane American citizens, there is no other alternative but to believe in aliens given the points and photographs discussed below.

In July of 1947, a rancher came across some mysterious material as he was shepherding near Roswell. The rancher (played by Dwight Yoakam in the movie Roswell), informed local authorities who, in turn, notified Federal Authorities. Local lore is that the Federals have covered it up ever since.

At some point since 1947,the International UFO Museum & Research Center offered free booze to any Roswell resident willing to sign an affidavit that they knew someone who talked convincingly of alien life. The walls of the museum are filled with such affidavits. Below is one such example, but all have similar declarations. They begin with “..on a given day, I was alone at a bar”, then lead to something along the lines of “… then Mac came over and persistently told me that he’d seen something strange”, and end with some inane conclusion like “…Mac would not have driven to the bar unless aliens did in fact exist”.

5. Standard Affidavit

Standard Roswell Affidavit – irrefutable evidence that Aliens exist

More convincing, however, are the handwritten accounts of sightings from across the U.S. The chilling account below occurred in Pennsylvania. Arthur J. Sturts witnessed UFOs out his bedroom window on August 26th, 1990. He drew up a highly detailed picture of the scene four years later on his 45th birthday. We know his account is accurate because he signed it twice.

IMG_6088

The Sturts Letter – irrefutable evidence that Aliens exist

And if the Arthur Sturts account isn’t enough, then consider the following officials whose pictures hang on the hallowed walls of the museum. Governor Bill Richardson, visiting between grand jury proceedings, toured the storage facilities of excavations of the 1947 crash site. Aliens have been disclosed as having contributed to his campaign.

4. Bill Richardson

Bill Richardson – “I was led to believe this was a fundraiser, I can’t get out of here fast enough.”

The museum also features pictures of Ronald Reagan, Gerald Ford, Douglas MacArthur, and Jimmy Carter, all who have made certain comments regarding UFOs. President Carter distinguished himself from the others by claiming that he had actually seen one.

Imptppl

Historical Figures contemplating, but not committing to, a belief in Aliens, well, except for Jimmy Carter (a Billy Beer moment).

There was a life-size diorama of the hospital room where an alien received some medical attention. Luckily, under Obamacare, our medical experts were able to treat the alien with taxpayer money. Apparently, in other galaxies, advanced beings are able to access the federal website and sign up for insurance. And just like Obamacare, a fedora-capped federal agent will always be present for medical procedures.

IMG_6101

Affordable Care Act Diorama

Now we’ll get to some photographic evidence. Below is a high definition photo of what can only be described as a UFO. I know I could have started with this photo, but then you wouldn’t have read the entire post.

2. High Res

High Resolution photograph – irrefutable evidence that Aliens exist

quod erat demonstrandum

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2 responses to “109. You Will Now Believe In Aliens

  1. Pingback: Where Did We Go? | Friend Family Adventure·

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